Art Historian Shares Hilarious Tips That Will Make You An Art Expert

Ever stood in front of a painting, nodded thoughtfully, and had absolutely no idea what you were looking at? You’re not alone. Art history spans centuries of movements, styles, and signatures that can feel impossible to tell apart without a degree on the wall. But what if telling a Caravaggio from a Botticelli, or a Cubist Braque from a Surrealist Dalí, came down to a handful of dead-simple visual cues?

That’s exactly the game Melbourne-based art historian and content creator Mary McGillivray plays on her wildly popular TikTok, @_theiconoclass. With 344,000-plus followers and 7.2 million likes, she’s turned the intimidating world of art movements into a series of laugh-out-loud shortcuts. Her method is brilliantly simple: spot the visual quirk, remember the joke, and never blank at a gallery again.

The genius is in the analogies. Everyone in the painting looks unreasonably jacked, women included? It’s a Michelangelo. Looks like a satisfying game of Tetris? That’s a Mondrian. Cute babies mean Baroque; ugly babies mean Medieval. And if you’re honestly not sure whether it even qualifies as art, congratulations, you’ve found a Dada piece. Each cheat code sticks because it’s rooted in a real stylistic hallmark, just delivered with the kind of wit that makes it impossible to forget.

Whether you’re prepping for a first date at the museum or just tired of nodding along to conversations about the Old Masters, this visual guide has you covered. Scroll through McGillivray’s tips below and start decoding centuries of art like the resident expert you’re about to become.

 

1. “If everyone in the painting looks unreasonably jacked, including the women, it’s a Michelangelo”

 

2. “If she’s blonde and has this exact face, it’s a Botticelli”

 

3. “If it looks like you need your glasses prescription updated, then it’s Impressionism”

 

4. “If it looks like a Tupperware drawer, then it’s Cubism”

 

5. “If it’s got cute babies, it’s Baroque”

 

6. “If it’s unfinished, it’s probably a Leonardo”

 

7. “If it looks like a really satisfying game of Tetris, it’s A Mondrian”

 

8. “If it looks like the chaos after a blackout where everyone is stumbling around in the dark under one solitary emergency light, it’s a Caravaggio”

 

9. “If it’s a portrait of Rembrandt, it’s a Rembrandt”

 

10. “If it’s got rich people frolicking outdoors, then it’s Rococo”

 

11. “If it looks like a nightmare you once had about being stranded in the desert, then it’s Surrealism”

 

12. “If it’s got palpable female rage and/or vengeance, it’s an Artemisia”

 

13. “If there’s at least one person looking to the camera like they’re on The Office, it’s Diego Velázquez”

 

14. “If it looks like angsty male ego, then it’s German Romanticism”

 

15. “If it looks like an amateur theatre production, then its Neo-Classical”

 

16. “If it looks like … it’s an O’Keeffe”

 

17. “If it looks like a scene from Madaline, it’s a Jean Dufy”

 

18. “If it looks like a school nativity play where everyone’s made a toga out of different colored bedsheets, it’s a Giotto”

 

19. “If it looks like a Cottagecore pin-up girl, then its Art Nouveau”

 

20. “If it’s got more flesh than a nudist beach, it’s a Rubens”

 

21. “If it’s got sad peasants, it’s 19th Century Realism”

 

22. “If there’s a room with some nice furniture, a window, and some women just going about their everyday business, it’s a Vermeer”

 

23. “If it looks like the artistic equivalent of a nicotine addiction, it’s an Egon Schiele”

 

24. “If it’s got ugly babies, it’s Medieval”

 

25. “If the people look way too long, then it’s Mannerism”

 

26. “If it’s got a happy presence, it’s a Dutch Genre Painting”

 

27. “If it looks like a low-res JPEG blown up, its Pointillism”

 

28. “If it’s just got nice trees, it’s a Claude Lorrain”

 

29. “If it looks like a really stressful game of Tetris, it’s a George Braque”

 

30. “If it’s homoerotic and painted on a wall or a ceiling, then it’s High Renaissance”

 

31. “If you’re not sure if it is art, then it’s Dada”

 

32. “If she’s blonde and got thicc thighs, it’s a Titian”

 

33. “If it looks like a trendy collage artist’s Instagram, then it’s Constructivism”

 

34. “If it looks like the first kid at school who learnt how to draw in 3D and would not shut up about it, it’s a Massaccio”

 

35. “If it’s got nice trees but boring figures, it’s a Poussin”

 

36. “If it looks like a Gorman Puffer Jacket, it’s a Matisse”

Art history’s always been locked away behind thick textbooks and those hushed gallery whispers, so honestly it’s kind of great watching someone knock that wall down with just a phone camera and a good sense of humor. McGillivray gets the point across better than any lecture ever could: you don’t need some fancy graduate seminar to get art. You need a decent eye and a joke that sticks in your head.

So next time you’re standing there in front of a canvas, you might catch yourself surprised. That moody guy staring off into the fog? German Romanticism. Those stretched-out, weirdly elegant bodies? Mannerism. And just like that, the gallery stops feeling like a pop quiz and starts feeling like an inside joke you’re finally in on.

Share this post with a friend who’d love to impress their date at the next gallery opening, and voice your views in the comments below.